سهول الفيضة | FLOODPLAINS

God Wants Your “You” (To the Would-Be Sufi)

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و صلى الله على سيدنا محمد و على آله حق قدره و مقداره العظيم

You can always tell the would-be Sufi novice by their egotistical attachment to feeling good. They seem bi-polar, thrown from one extreme to another; paradisiacal one moment and hellacious the next. One moment, they seem to be nearly receiving revelation, then the next moment they seem to need to be rescued from the deepest darkest motes of an emotional Hades. They manage to pull off impressive numbers of [recitations of] Ṣalāt al-Fātiḥi one day, and the next day they seem to be considering the benefits of Buddhism. However, all of this is still self-worship as the ego (nafs) is like this. One of the ways to tell the difference between a demonic thought and an egotistical one is that the Shayṭān will persist on one idea and not let up, while the ego bounces from here to there, never able to focus. 

Many people start to worship the emotions or super-natural that dhikr can bring about, especially in the beginning of one’s travels. Dhikr is not about feeling good or feeling bad. Dhikr is not even about you, as a matter of fact. Dhikr is here to ruin you, to bury you, to annihilate you and to resurrect what was once “you” so that all things are returned to God, even that notion of “I.” This is how it is, there is no other alternative. He ﷻ said, Do they await but that Allāh should come to them in covers of clouds and the angels [as well] and the matter is [then] decided? And to Allāh [all] matters are returning. (2:210)

All matters are returning to God. That which is ever-returning could never have left in the first place. “You” are a matter, as is your body, mind and soul, which are ever-returning to Him. Is there one more foolish than he or she who would try to make decisions in contrast to this Reality, when even that itself would have to return to God? 

So what then are the signs that one’s dhikr is taking effect? Is it singing in the heart? How about feeling good with the homies on a Friday night? How about feeling super-African and “connected” to the Motherland? How about being able to verify one’s authentic sufi-ness? How about… no.

Among the signs is that one gets smart. Mashāʾllāh, [do] you want to be an intellectual? Here you go: Maymūn ibn Mahrān said, “Whomever is not pleased with the Decree has no cure for his stupidity.”

Among the signs is that one authentically prefers God over themselves, instead of causing everyone around them to have to endure their self for God’s sake. So, [to the] would-be swooned Sufi, you want to be “close to God”? Here you go: al-Thawrī — may God be pleased with him — said one day, while in the presence of Rābiʿa al-Adawiyya — may God be pleased with her, “O God! Be pleased with us!” She said to him, “Are you not shy enough to refrain from asking God for His pleasure when you are not pleased with him?” He [then] said, “I seek God’s forgiveness.”

When life happens, you will see exactly where your dhikr is. No more claims, no more boasts. Play time is over. Beware: if you want God, He wants your “you.”

May Allāh give us Allāh. Amen.

—Imām Muḥammad ʿAbd al-Laṭīf Finch (Berkeley, USA)

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